


Good In Bed

by princessmera



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Non-Graphic Smut, Sexual Humor, classy smut one could say, exists in a world where 4x10 and like all of season 4 never happened, its like barely smut at all its more fluff and meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:53:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25438003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessmera/pseuds/princessmera
Summary: “Hold the fuck up… Are you asking me if I wanna get pegged?” – a collection of one shots exploring Jessica and Justin's sexual recovery plot line inspired by 3x03.
Relationships: Jessica Davis/Justin Foley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	Good In Bed

**Author's Note:**

> this is the closest you'll ever get to smut from me. jess and justin are very Powerful and their relationship is grounded very much so in their sexual relationship but i think if you really pay attention these are two characters who have been sexually traumatised, and the fact that they found comfort and safety with each other is a very grounded and emotional connection. So there was a lot to explore there. A lot of development from jessica wanting sexual normalcy to her wanting a relationship again. also where we leave off at the end..... no, there will not be a follow up fic.
> 
> also you cannot convince me that jessica didn't contract hiv while they were dating for months...... it's more realistic of her to have contracted it than the entire plotline they pulled. he would have been tested 100% and he would not have died anyway. but of all the bullshit they pulled in that episode was her NOT coming up positive. i don't think that's realistic at all tbh...... it'd be dumb ending the show like that but at the same time...... why claim realism on his death and nothing else in the show? 13rw writers go fuck yourselves. justin should have survived.

“Justin, I need to _talk_ to you,” she said, nice and slow so he understood. Jessica grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the back room of Monet’s. He didn’t stop her, he just followed like he had no other choice. She practically flung him into the room. That was where they kept the coffee beans, the chocolate powder and other ingredients. He stumbled inside and Jessica shut the door behind them. “Where is the lock?” She asked, glancing around.

“It doesn’t lock,” he said hesitantly. He still hadn’t caught on. “What are we doing in here? We can talk outside. People use this thing.”

Jessica’s eyes nearly rolled out of her head. “You’re so slow,” she said. “Just take your shirt off.”

He made a face. “What? Jess… What?”

She turned to him and pushed him up against the counter by the door. “Shut the fuck up,” she whispered, then she kissed him, hard. He was shocked for a moment, not completely taken aback. But he kissed her back right away.

“Oh,” he said through the kiss. “I see.” Jessica smiled against his lips.

“You’re adorable,” she whispered to him, beginning to shed her jacket. They changed positions and she lifted herself up onto the counter surface. “Do you have a condom?”

He scoffed. “I’m at work,” he said, hesitating because safe sex was the best sex.

Jessica smirked, digging into the pocket of her jeans. She pulled one out and offered it to him. “Didn’t expect that, did you?” He nearly laughed, yanking it from her hand with pride. She had never been the one in the relationship to carry protection. That had always been on him. Grinning, she undid the buttons on her jeans and loosened them at her waist. She started to pull them off as she sat there, and he tugged on the waistband to help her, being the one to pull them off her body completely and drop them at the door.

“What if someone walks in?” He asked her.

Jessica shrugged. “Well hurry up then,” she snapped, smirking at him. It wasn’t like she was the one who worked here. And guys didn’t get a walk of shame so he’d be fine, right? “Why are you taking so long?” She asked bitterly. “Do you wanna get back together or not?”

He blinked up at her. “What?” He was completely caught off guard. “Wait. Like… Like together? Like you and me–“ He took one glance at the annoyed look on her face and shook his head, pulling his shirt over his head with one hand. “Fuck it. We can talk about it later,” he said casually. And Jessica grabbed his face and kissed him.

* * *

“Wait, wait,” she whispered as he lay over her, his fingers about to pull her underwear off. “I don’t like this.”

Justin pulled back from her, their faces inches away. “Shit,” he whispered back, and she could feel his breath on her skin. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

Jessica shook her head at him, biting her bottom lip. “You didn’t know.” He propped himself up on his hands, kneeling either side of her hips. She looked up at him, staring at the tattoo on his chest, then the one on his bicep above her. Was he the reason she fantasised about guys with tattoos in her sex dreams? When she wasn’t subconsciously fantasising about him, of course. Jesus. But he couldn’t know that. His ego was big enough as it is when it came to sex. And rightfully so.

“I can… I can go,” he offered quietly, unsure of what to do. Justin pushed himself up to his knees and was about to climb off when Jessica rolled her eyes.

“Oh my God,” she complained with a smirk, catching his wrist in her hand as he started to stand on the floor. “You’re an idiot.” She yanked on his hand, and unsteady as he was kneeling on her bed, she pulled him backwards. She tried not to giggle as he landed on his back beside her, his shoulder nearly crushing her own, then she nimbly crawled up to sit over him.

“Shit,” he whispered, smiling. She squeezed her thighs either side of his hips and his hands came up to hold her waist. His fingers ran across the waistband of her underwear, his thumbs slipping inside to run over her hipbone as she leaned down to his lips.

“Are you okay with this?” She asked him. “I just feel less nervous in this position.” Her hands were on his cheeks as he nodded with a smile. She was pretty sure he liked this better than before. They had only done this a handful of times when they first dated but things had been different back then.

“Yeah,” he said. She wondered if he knew how wide his smile was. “I’m good.” Jessica held his face in her hands, biting his bottom lip through a kiss, and that was when his smile disappeared to focus on her lips. His thumbs ran circles and patterns over her hip bones, either side, and she arched her back. She kissed him harder, and his hands slipped around to the curve of her back, pressing his fingers in until she was grinding her hips against him.

She bit her bottom lip. “You ready?” She asked, inches away from his lips.

“Are you?” Justin asked in a whisper. Smirking, she ran her tongue over her teeth and her lack of verbal response was enough for him to do exactly what he was implying. She pressed her lips to the side of his lips, then his cheek, and she kept going further as his fingers slipped inside her underwear. As he touched her, she sunk her teeth into his neck feeling him tilt his head and let her go deeper. Kinky. She sucked his skin between her teeth as he touched her, waiting for him to touch a specific spot that would make her breath catch. He made her wait for it, of course. So she bit deeper, almost to the point of drawing blood but she didn’t. Then she sucked his skin into her mouth so hard he swore.

She smacked her lips together in annoyance. “Are you going to finger me, or do I have to do it myself?”

He smiled. “No,” he told her, thoroughly entertained. “I can do it.” He pressed his fingers deeper between her legs and circled the most sensitive area until her entire body shivered. And he knew when he got there by the short breath that came from her above him. When their eyes met, he smirked and she couldn’t stand him looking at her like that, so she leaned down and kissed his lips again. “I missed you,” he whispered against her.

She smiled against his lips, feeling his fingers move inside her. “I bet you did.” Then she cocked her head, their eyes meeting as she was inches away from his lips. “You didn’t sleep with anybody while you were gone? Didn’t try to replace me?” He froze, pulling his fingers out and staring. There was a dead look behind his eyes, a haunted one. He tried to hide it behind a nonchalant smile but she noticed. And she regretted saying anything. She just liked to get under his skin, she hadn’t meant to say something so stupid. He was homeless while he was gone, he never spoke about it to her so she really had no idea what his life was like then. So sometimes she said dumb shit.

“Never,” he whispered, trying to make his voice work.

Jessica’s brow furrowed. “That was stupid of me to say,” she told him sincerely. “Let me make it up to you.”

He stared at her in anticipation. “How?” He asked.

She winked at him, biting her bottom lip. “Don’t talk,” she told him, crawling down the bed. “You’ll ruin the experience.” He smiled at her, watching her go down on him and she couldn’t help but smile back, even if it was sexually fuelled. Strange, Jessica realised afterwards. After what had happened to her, the idea of touching other people and being touched was so far from her mind. But tonight, after hooking up with him three times since she broke up with Alex, things felt like they used to. It didn’t feel like Jessica was trying to reclaim anything, or prove anything to herself. She was just a teenaged girl having fun. She had been caught up in the moment. And if she had told herself three months ago that this was what she would be doing, there would be utter disbelief. She had tried to do stuff like that with Alex but it had never had a pretty outcome. She made up excuses or said she had to leave. She just couldn’t do it. She was too uncomfortable with her body, with sex. But she had surprised herself tonight. She had accomplished something more than just the act of having sex. She had enjoyed it without the pressure of forcing herself to recover.

* * *

“Why are we in a sex shop?” He asked her in a whisper. Jessica rolled her eyes. “What if someone sees us?”

She smirked. “I didn’t pick you as someone ashamed of having a sex life.”

“I’m not,” he argued in a whisper. “But people might see us, and that could be really bad for you. Like, really fucking bad for your reputation.”

Jessica turned her head to look back at him. “Why are you being so uptight about this? It’s fine.” He hated being called uptight. It reminded him too much of Clay, and he was _not_ uptight. He refused to be.

“Fine,” he gave in with a sigh. He turned to the shelf beside them and pointed. “What about this?”

Jessica spun on her heels to look at what he was pointing at. She scowled. “Those are vibrators,” she said dismissively.

He nodded, faking interest. “I see,” he said, withdrawing his hand. Then he chuckled. “Jess, look at this one. It’s called the pussy-nator 3000. You should get it.” Jessica made a tight fist and nudged him in the shoulder. Strong enough to make a point but gentle enough that his only reaction was to stifle laughter.

“I hate you,” she said, turning on her heels. “Keep walking.”

Justin followed her down the aisle of sex toys. “I said I’d stop complaining. I didn’t say it was gonna be fun.”

Jessica smiled. “Dating you is always fun. You’re just annoying.” She reached back to him, waiting for him to hold her hand as they wandered around.

“So what are we looking for? Anal beads?” She squeezed his hand so tight he jerked it back. “Sorry. But seriously.”

Jessica shrugged. “Anything. I’m just looking around and I didn’t wanna do it alone.”

He clicked his tongue, glancing around. “When you asked me out this wasn’t quite what I imagined.”

“What did you imagine?”

She heard him stifle laughter. “At least a few more anal beads.” Jessica groaned and released his hand, fastening her pace to walk a few steps ahead of him. “Jess,” he protested. “I’m sorry, come back.” He fastened his pace after her to catch up. “I swear I’ll stop.” He hooked his arms around her waist and leaned in to kiss her cheek. “I promise.”

She unhooked his arms. “Nice try. Your promises mean nothing without sex.” He put his hand on the small of her back, smiling and walking beside her. “Where is the fun stuff?” She asked. “Not the weird kinky fetish stuff.” She glanced at the row of model feet that made her shudder. Even Justin didn’t bother to tease her about it, they both just wanted to get away from the strange foot fetish models.

“Two rows over,” he said casually. “They have handcuffs, blindfolds, gags. All that shit.” Jessica turned her head up to look at him. “What?” He shrugged. “Bryce and Monty used to think it was funny to sneak in here and look around.”

She smirked at him. “Right…”

“You’re way more fun,” he told her. “And way less creepy.” Jessica could guess what that implication meant. A rapist and a homophobe. Who knows what horrid things they’d go looking for in this place.

“Come on,” she said turning the corner at the edge of the aisle. “Lets look at some gags so I can finally have some peace and quiet.” Their eyes met and he just laughed.

“Oh, Jess,” he stopped her, “look.” She glanced over at the plastic shelf. “Flavoured condoms.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”

He chuckled, his voice growing louder in the store. “Well, you were saying just last night how you hate the taste of–“ She covered his mouth with her hand. He was smirking and she was trying not laugh. They stared and she waited to see if he would finish his sentence. “Condoms,” he finished, and it wasn’t as inappropriate as she thought it would be. “They have strawberry.”

She shrugged. “We should get some. Get some different flavours. Not–“

“Not orange,” Justin finished. “Yeah, I know.”

* * *

“I love looking at you,” he whispered, smiling.

Jessica tilted her head. “That’s why we work so well. I love it when you look at me.” She ran her fingers along his cheek, smirking. “And I really love the way you’re looking at me right now.”

He hummed suggestively. “Yeah?”

She kinked an eyebrow. “Yeah,” she whispered back. “But I have a new idea.” The corner of her lips went up suggestively and his brow furrowed.

“What?” Justin asked slowly, biting his bottom lip. He always did that, and it always turned her on. She knew no matter what they did he was gonna be cute about it. He lay under her on the bed and she cocked her head at him.

“Lie on the floor,” she commanded, and he was taken aback.

“What?” He asked, squinting in confusion. Still, he smiled. She lifted one leg up from over his waist and pushed him towards the edge of her bed.

“Floor,” she repeated. “Go.” He hovered for a moment, staring at her and trying to work out what was happening. But in that time he weighed up his options and realised the only way he was getting any was if he did as she asked. He shrugged, rolling over and falling off the edge of her bed.

She laughed, hearing him whisper “fuck,” as he hit the carpet. She climbed off the bed after him, grabbing the rope she had found in the house the other day after a kinky google search, and the cloth she had cut up afterwards. Their eyes met across the room, and he looked surprised, yet interested.

Jessica smirked. “You ready?” She asked, and his lips turned up in amusement.

“Shit,” he whispered as she pushed him down on his back on the carpet, throwing her legs either side of his waist.

“Arms up,” she ordered, and he smirked, doing exactly as she asked. “Move up,” she told him when his hands were too far from the side table to tie up. Justin sighed in exasperation, putting his flat palms on the floor beside her legs and pushing himself up closer. Then he put his arms above his head again. She leaned forward, grabbing the rope and tied it around his wrist on one hand.

“What’s going on–“

“Shhh,” she hushed him, trying to focus on tying him up. “Is it too tight?”

Justin shook his head. “It’s fine,” he said, leaning his head back to look up at his hands. He laughed, watching her struggle with the second knot. She connected both his wrists between the leg of the side table, tying it nice and firm.

“How’s that?” She asked, and he tugged the rope.

“Tight,” he said, smiling. “I see we’ve got a girl scout on our hands.”

Jessica crawled back to sit over him, watching his smiling face. “Are you intimidated?” She asked, smirking. She grabbed the cloth and he knew the drill, lifting his head up so she could wrap it around.

“Very,” he told her as she tied the blindfold over his eyes. It went silent for a moment as he smiled in anticipation. “So,” he asked, “what are we doing?”

Jessica smiled, focusing as she tied. “I’m just figuring my shit out,” she said. “If that’s okay with you.”

Justin nodded, grinning as she pulled away from him. “Yeah, I’m good with that.” She chuckled, flattening her palms and running them along his chest as she sat up straight. Her fingers toyed with the waistband of his boxers. She knew he was waiting in anticipation for what she would do. Imagine if she just walked out and left him like this? That’d be funny.

She smiled, staring down at him as he just lay underneath her. “You can’t touch me, and you can’t see me.” Usually he’d be touching her right now, and she could never resist him when he ran his hands over her body.

Justin clicked his tongue, smirking. “That _is_ the current situation.” She smiled back, entertained by his comment. Someone was eager to begin. She reached out and ran her nails down his chest. He physically recoiled from it in shock. She heard him take in a sharp breath. He hadn’t expected her to do that so suddenly. She drew back and she put her hands on his face instead.

“Shit,” she whispered. “You okay?” 

He swallowed, nodding slowly. “Yeah,” he said, then a smile came to his face. “I just wasn’t expecting it.” She ran her thumb to the edge of his smile, the only feature on his face she could see. “Do it again.”

She smirked. “Again?” She put her fingers on his neck, digging her nails in and dragging them down as he smiled.

“You can even do it harder,” he offered lightly, and Jessica bit her bottom lip.

“Mhm, okay,” she whispered, then she dug her nails in harder and dragged them down his chest. His mouth was open, gasping, and she leaned forward and bit his bottom lip until he smirked, kissing him hard. There were deep red scratches on his neck, and trailing down his chest. “Is this good?” She asked in a whisper.

“Yes,” he said, she heard him try to find his voice. “I still wish I could see you, and hold you.”

She smirked. “Too bad,” she said. “We’re working my shit out right now. You can hold me later.”

He bit his bottom lip. “Yeah, okay.” He looked pretty happy with that answer. She was sure he wasn’t unhappy about this. It’s not like he wasn’t getting anything out it.

“Tell me if you don’t like something,” she said in all seriousness.

“Should we have a safe word?” He asked, grinning. Her knees were digging into his waist, her thighs tightening around him and he squirmed impatiently underneath her.

Jessica pursed her lips, considering. “Daffodils,” she offered.

Justin shook his head, scoffing through laughter. “I’m not saying that,” he protested.

“Fine,” Jessica rolled her eyes. “Fork sounds too much like fuck. Butterflies is too long.” He made a face as she rambled. “What about table?”

He pressed his lips together, weighing it up. “Yeah, okay,” he decided. “I can say table.”

“Cool,” she whispered. “You ready?”

He smirked. “Yeah, but can you use your nails again? I liked that.”

Jessica clicked her tongue. “Nope,” she said in finality, smiling down at him. It wasn’t up for debate. “I’m in control.” That only made him smile wider, his head leaning back between his arms as she had him tied up. She kissed the centre of his chest, then she went down further and further. And that night had to be some of the most fun she had ever had. It was exhilarating having control over someone. Consensual, of course. She didn’t hurt him. But she made him writhe and moan like she had never seen before. And that was hot in itself. And she got to move, and feel, exactly the way she wanted to.

* * *

“I wanna try something,” he said in the supplies room. “I think you’ll like it.”

Jessica tilted her head, biting her bottom lip. “Yeah, what?” He grabbed her wrist and brought her hand up to grip his throat.

“Choke me,” he said, and Jessica raised an eyebrow.

“Kinky,” she said, smirking.

“It’s actually pretty common,” he said offhandedly, as though he had expected that exact comment. He released her wrist, but her hand stayed on his throat.

“I like it,” she decided, her eyes taking in the way her fingers looked as she tightened her grip. She didn’t press them into him. They were at school, in a spare period. They didn’t wanna be found out. But later, she would do just what he asked. “Why?” She asked him curiously, thinking about the night he described to her, before he ran away, regarding his mom’s boyfriend. The reason he chose the Jensen’s over Amber, regardless of whether she was here or not. He had been relatively open with her about what made him uncomfortable during sex, and what he didn’t like. There was never any hitting or slapping. He never called her a bitch, he never said anything remotely controlling or demeaning as though it were dirty talk, as it was called. They kept it clean. Neither of them found being disrespected arousing. But choking was new, choking was something Jessica expected to be off the table in regards to kinky sex.

Justin shrugged. “I don’t know… I just think it might be fun.”

Jessica smirked, her hand around his throat relaxing as she leaned into his lips. “You trust me,” she said, and he nodded sheepishly. “Good,” she told him gently. “That makes me happy.” There was a certain relief to replacing traumatic experiences of something, sex, or choking, with ones fuelled by pleasure, or excitement. For him to wanna try this, Jessica was surprised. Usually he wasn’t interested in that kind of recovery, or replacement. But maybe he trusted her enough to try it this once, and know that he was safe when they did.

She watched him smile slightly, as though he were embarrassed. “Do you trust me?” He asked her.

“Yeah,” she said, nodding. “I do.” She moved her hand up to hold the back of his neck, pulling him in to kiss her. She leaned back against the shelf, the books inside it shaking as his hands hooked under her thighs and lifted her onto the bench. She giggled against his lips, trying to stay connected as she shuffled securely onto the shelf.

“Are you busy tonight?” Justin asked her, in between a kiss.

She cocked her head, shaking it at him. “I’m free. At yours or mine?” 

He smirked. “I’m sure I can convince Clay to stay away from the outhouse for a while.” She chuckled against his lips. “I get off at eight,” he told her.

She bit her bottom lip. “You mean you get _off_ at eight, or you _get_ _off_ at eight?” She asked with a wink. He just laughed at her. “I guess I can make that work. I’ll sneak out.”

He pretended to gasp. “You’re so bad.”

Jessica faked a moan, tapping her palm flat to his chest with a smirk. “Save the dirty talk for tonight, babe.” she told him. “I have a math test in twenty minutes. I can’t afford to be horny for it.”

Justin grinned. “If only math were that fun,” he said with a sigh.

“When’s your test?”

He shrugged carelessly. “Tomorrow, I can’t be fucked studying.”

Jessica bit her bottom lip, staring at him. “How about you do be fucked studying in your study period, and if you get above a C, we can go out for dinner this weekend.”

He scoffed. “Where? We’re a secret, Jess. What do you think people will say?”

She cocked her head at him. “We can go into town. Stay in a motel.” She shrugged. “We can tell people we’re staying overnight at someone’s house.” She smirked, her hand coming back up to his throat. “And then I can choke you all night.” He loved the sound of that.

* * *

Her legs were wrapped around his waist as he held her up against the wall. His hands holding her thighs tight so she didn’t fall. As he kissed her neck, biting the soft part of her arch, her head went back to moan.

“Is this okay?” Justin asked her in a whisper. She moved her hand around to hold his head to her, making him bite her harder.

“God,” she said with an eye roll. “You don’t have to treat me like a victim. We’ve been doing this for months.” His apology was simply to bite her skin so hard, she was pretty sure he drew blood. Jessica smirked. “Better,” she whispered. “Now come on,” she said. “I wanna try something different.” She unhooked her legs from his waist and he let her stand on her own. Pressing her lips up to his, she put her fingertips to his chest and urged him to step backwards to her bed.

“What are we doing?” Justin asked, stumbling back until they met the bed.

She smirked. “Something really fucking exciting.” Passing him, she kissed his shoulder and then climbed onto the bed. She yanked on the waistband on his underwear, making sure he got the message then she began to pull off her own underwear. He did as she demanded, smiling at her as he grabbed the condom from the floor that she had thrown there not even a minute ago when she suggested more foreplay first. Now she took that back. She was ready. “Hurry up,” she whined, crawling further up to the headboard.

“So impatient,” he complained, smirking back at her.

“You just make me feel good,” she told him, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him onto the bed. He smiled, kissing her lips once, then following her as she pulled him on top of her. He hesitated a moment, looking down at her underneath him before realising this was what she wanted to try. She trusted him. She was recovering. He reached up and kissed her lips, gently more so than passionately. Still, Jessica liked it.

“Are you okay?” He asked her absentmindedly, pulling away.

Jessica rolled her eyes, and looked down. “Shut up,” she said. “Just fucking start, Jesus.” Normally he didn’t treat her like a stupid breakable doll. He just did what he did, and he could tell when she was uncomfortable. She would tell him. She always told him when something was anything less than amazing.

He just smiled at her. “Okay,” he said, and she stretched her knees down to the bed and he gently entered her. Her thighs tightened around his waist and he went deeper as her head tilted back. She shut her eyes tight and tried to focus. But that was a really stupid idea. The feeling of his weight on top of her, while nothing like Bryce, was still weight. It was still holding her down. Her vision was dark, and it was like she was passed out again. Like she could barely get her voice to work. Her chest began to heave as she felt it tighten. It was back again. After she had tried so hard to make it go away. And it had been a good month since Jessica last had a panic attack. Since she got catcalled at the mall by a bunch of 20-something year old guys and ran to the bathroom to cry. Fuck, she thought, she wasn’t gonna be weak. And after she had made such a show of being a survivor and not a victim.

“Shit,” he whispered and Jessica’s eyes were shut tight. “Shit, Jess, are you okay?” Through all the sudden memories she had of that night, all she could hear was his voice. And just like that night, her only response was a whimper as tears streamed down her cheeks. He stopped moving completely, saying her name over and over again. “Jess, seriously,” he whispered to her, “you gotta open your eyes. You gotta come back.” Slowly she nodded, and her eyes opened. She didn’t want him to see her so weak after she had him convinced she was so strong. But, being the one person who didn’t treat her like a victim, their eyes met and he just smiled.

“It wasn’t you,” she told him hoarsely.

Justin nodded, assuredly. “Are you okay? We can stop. Do you wanna stop?”

Jessica shook her head, reaching up touch his face above her. “No, keep going.” Her heart stopped racing a little, her vision cleared. “I want to do this. I know I can do it.” He stared down at her, she knew he wanted to argue. But he didn’t. This was what she wanted.

“Okay,” he whispered. “Just keep your eyes open, okay? Just look at me. Watch what’s going on.” Their eyes were connected as she nodded. He was good at this stuff. He cared, and he was sincere. And smart. He was really fucking smart when it came to what she needed, and what she wanted.

“Let’s try it again,” she said, and he needed to readjust his position a little after panicking over her.

He leaned down then and kissed her lips, smiling. “I love you,” he whispered.

Smirking, she rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t get me wet,” she said and he laughed. She hooked her arm up over him and put palm on his shoulder blade, staring and waiting for him to say something different.

“I would fucking kill for you,” he whispered and her head went back as the tightening in her chest moved much lower. She nearly got butterflies.

“Better,” she whispered, then she dug her nails into his shoulder and dragged them down until she was pretty sure, at least from the look on his face, she drew blood. “Now prove it and moan for me.”

* * *

“Hey,” she said, lying beside him on the bed. They had been sitting in a contemplative, post-sex silence that was usually reserved for him offering to eat her out again until she couldn’t take it anymore, or to find her some food in the kitchen. Neither of those things were the go today. “I was, um, thinking about what you told me the other day.”

Justin made a cute, curious face. “Which day was this?” He asked. “I tell you a lot of things.”

“At the station,” she said gently. “After the assembly.”

“Oh,” he said, smiling slightly. “Your badass speech. Yeah, I remember.”

“Well,” she said, turning over and propping herself up on her elbow to stare down at him. “I was just kinda thinking about it last night. And I was looking some stuff up regarding recovery, and just trying to understand that sort of stuff so I can help you.”

He squinted, staring up at her. “Where are you going with this?”

She huffed a laugh, smiling. “Recovery,” she insisted. “You helped me with mine and I wanna help you with yours.”

“So…”

“So,” she said with emphasis. “Google has some interesting advice on sexual assault recovery for guys. There is a lot of stuff about rewriting memories, and especially in your case, trying to replace a certain experience of being pushed into something, with taking control.”

“But you’re in control,” he said, confused.

“Yeah,” she shrugged her shoulders. “But I’m willing to try new stuff. If you want.” She was blinking at him, proud of her research and eager for him to know she was ready to help him like he helped her. “There is also like… Reenacting the event, and rewriting those memories into something that feels good, and enjoyable. It’s apparently a common thing, like you can get these strap on–“

He interrupted. “Hold the fuck up… Are you asking me if I wanna get pegged?”

She smirked, her brow going up. “Is that what it’s called?” He knew his shit.

He snorted. “You’re the one who googled it, Jess. Fucking hell.” Justin tried to stifle his laughter. “What did you call it? Straight women fucking like gay men?” She reached up and squished his face with her palm covering his mouth until he stopped talking. It was so inappropriate. Usually when he said crude things he at least made them classy. Tonight not so much.

“Stop,” she said with a smile. “I didn’t call it that.” He just smirked, staring at her and running his fingers through her messy curls as she leaned over him. “Seriously though,” she said. “I just want you to know I’m always here for you. And for your recovery. Messy or clean, good or bad. I know what it’s like to have rebuild yourself from the ground up. And I needed help. Nobody can do it alone.” His eyes left hers, and stared down at his hand on her waist, his thumb moving in patterns over her bare skin.

“Jess,” he whispered. “I love you but my issues aren’t ever gonna be easy to fix–“

“I didn’t say they were,” she insisted.

His eyebrows went up. “I know,” he said, and it was obvious she had interrupted his thoughts. “But, my issues are deeper than rape. They’re deeper than just one fucked up thing that I saw. My entire life is my trauma, okay? And I’m not someone you can just take on like a project. You can’t fix me, like you did yourself. I don’t think I’ll ever be healthy.”

Jessica’s brow knitted together. “Don’t say that,” she whispered. “Nobody in the world is ever truly healthy. We’re all traumatised in some way. You gotta find a way to be happy. And I know you’re capable of that.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Still,” he said. “I don’t think it’ll ever last.”

She pressed her lips together, staring down at him. “Well,” she said, her hand coming up to hold the side of his face so he met her eyes. “Even if you don’t love me in five years, or if we fall apart. I’m always here for you. There is nothing in this world you could ever do that would make your struggles unimportant to me. I love you, but I also respect you.”

Justin smirked. “I respect you too. Even though I did some very disrespectful things to you five minutes ago.” Then he dug his fingertips into the curve of her waist. “And I totally wanna get pegged by you. Just to try it.”

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know how much more i can write for this show, or just in general. that ending..... that whole season broke my heart and i was very attached to jess and justin. i really am going through a difficult time in life so i wish you all the best. and i hope you liked the fic. kudos and comments of "ur kinky writing is so vanilla" is very welcome. i wanted to make this more meta than smut.


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